Searching for Sanity...

First - I want to say hello, welcome and THANK YOU to all of the new comment-ers that found me through other diabetic mom blogs, it's so good to hear from you and find more blogs focusing around this life change! I will definitely be checking out your blogs as well, and look forward to getting to know more about how everyone else is dealing with this life handed to us.

This post isn't going to be a diabetes-focused post. But a parent focused one.

Now, as parents (and moms) I feel that often that's our introduction or our 'title'. "Hi, I'm Melissa - Sierra's mom.". That's great. I love being a mom, I love my kids, I love being home with them even then they are driving me absolutely BATTY - there's no shame in this game. However, I'll be first in line to say when I don't take time to take care of the 'me' that is not JUST mom, the whole household feels the effects. And thus the title: Searching for Sanity.

I find that being busy with things beyond just what is required of me helps me cope. Not just with being the parent of a diabetic child (which I'm learning is very time consuming, and all encompassing at times), but also 'just' being a parent in itself of two very young, very active children. I don't want to come across as a selfish, self focused person but I'm not here to mince words or be something that I'm not in my little blog-land, either.

Being a mom is not enough for me. I need other things to enrich my life beyond the wonderful world of parenting. That isn't to say being a mom and wife aren't my most IMPORTANT priorities, they are, and they do require the top slots on the proverbial 'list'. However, without things that I can stand behind that are wholly for just my own being, I'm a mess. A grumpy, unhappy, miserable mess. Not ideal, but it is what it is, and I admit to myself and others freely. If I am in just mom mode for too long and fall behind on doing things that I want to or really NEED to do to make myself feel whole it's not pretty. So, in an effort to encourage others who may feel the same (diabetic-mommies or not! this applies to everyone if you ask me) I wanted to share how I attempt to find a balance in my life while struggling to keep up at the same time. I do it to myself, my mom tells me I'm crazy for always running around like a chicken with my head cut off all of the time. If I slow down too much, I might find I lose an opportunity to enrich myself and thus my family, so forward march it is!

Melissa's Sanity Savers:

Step 1: Put your must list aside for 10 minutes and think about what you can and would do given the time or drive. Got that? This can be anything that helps you feel more like yourself and not just one part of yourself. Read a book. Take a bath, learn guitar or write a novel. It doesn't matter, dream big or small just DREAM for something, what is life about anyway? :) Maybe being a mom and thinking of time for special crafts or outtings for or with the kid IS your thing - GREAT! Dream about that and take time to focus on it. I'm not going to assume for a second there aren't plenty of amazing people out there who feel like being the parent is really what they feel completely enriched by - I'm just speaking for myself here because I know me.

Step 2: Ok so you've figured out what you can and would do for yourself to help fill maybe a sliver of the whole-person-pie? Great! Now you just need to prioritize when and how these things will happen. This might be the hard part, but do it anyway, it'll be worth it in the long run

My can and do priorities are in full swing now that I've put some time and elbow grease into them. I'm a photographer and run a business on the side (Silvertide Photography, for those are curious, but this blog isn't about that), and I also instruct cardio kickboxing classes twice a week at a local self defense and fitness gym.


I NEED creative outlet - I used to paint, be on stage, write poetry. When I found I didn't have the same drive for those things, I shifted my vision to photography and it's consumed me in a glorious way. It is my expression and my freedom. Sometimes it's hard to keep up, but I create my own schedule and I know how good it is for my heart to be in it. I feel deprived without it, and deprived mommy doesn't make our house a happy place over time.


I also need exercise. What better aggression and stress busting possibility does anything hold next to kickboxing for an hour to loud music with heavy gloves? Add in childcare and the chance to force poor innocent class attendees into dripping massive amounts of sweat on the floor and call me happy! This was a no brainer.

Step 3: Breathe. You may not have time to fulfill yourself, your to-do lists and everyone in your families needs all of the time. I know my husband may not agree with my theory here but sometimes, the house can wait. Sometimes my cup needs more filling than the floors need vacuuming.  To be fair, I still struggle with finding this balance, and I'm not the best house-keeper in the world, but I am making an effort and trying to find the best way to get myself through this lifes up and downs while being true to myself, my kids, and my family as a whole. I do need time to take care of myself, even if 75% of me goes to everyone else first.

Reserve that 25% for yourself, you're living this life too. You deserve it, and it might even make the rest of your world flow easier too.

See, 3 easy steps! If only everything in life could be so easy :)

I know this sounds simple, but I also know plenty of friends, acquaintances and online persona's who are struggling on this point. A friend of mine once told me that she really respected my ability to not just know that I need 'something', but that I can actually articulate and relate to what 'it' is - and then do my best to make it happen.

The times I struggle is when I am forced out of my happy 'doing what I need to do for every ones sake' box. This happened when Sierra was diagnosed, I was completely thrown from everything for about 2 months and I was sour and depressed, but I knew it had to happen. I'm working everything back in now, and I feel like I can handle most days better than I could without. And all in all, the balance is a constant adjustment I'm willing to make.

I think all any of us can hope for is to do our best for everyone (but that everyone includes ourselves).