And then it's been almost 6 years.

Poof, like that.

I was about to share the blog post from year 1. A quick "Hey look how far we've come! Remember that very first 'diaversary'?". Then the share post got longer, and longer, and duh - better just update the blog.

Every year I get about to this day, and I start remembering. I know "it's" coming. Why a point in time so long ago can still be so easily recovered when I can't even remember where I put my keys on a daily basis is pretty remarkable. The power of trama, I suppose.

I can easily see where we were then, read the 1 year post, and see where we are now. I updated just last year (ok, about 18 months ago, but who is honestly counting?), so many technology updates have been noted there, and aside from that I can't say a lot has changed on the 'hope for a cure' front.

Sure, medtronic now touts a pump that can auto-suspend insulin to prevent lows. Guess what? That's not an artificial pancreas. Not only does it require tons of time to set up and still has plenty of fall out issues, it's also still a tubed pump. Does it help people sleep? That's a big yes - so there is that. Does it provide better A1Cs or at least overall care for a lot of people? That's a yes too - so I can't begrudge it at all, it's helping people with this insanely time intense disease and it's helping them do BETTER with their day to day care. That is absolutely a win.

Do I want it?

No. Nope.

Why? Because, frankly, it's achieving "roughly" 10-15% lower care values than I do on my own. And I don't say that to brag about our level of care for our daughter. With diabetes it's half luck, and the other half blood sweat and tears and no sleep. I say that because in my opinion, while it's a great start for those struggling, it offers little aid and even draw backs for our situation which is so disappointing. A computer should be able to beat my sleep-deprived half functioning brain, millions of dollars, hours, and research specifically designed to help this case shouldn't be grading a "D" (65%) in care when I can pull off a C. A *c* is good care, guys. A c. Honestly a D is actually great care, too. I wish it could be at where we are, because the amount of work we put into it is exhausting even while it's worth while. As soon as they can up their game I'm all in.  For now, I'll stick to what we can achieve as long as I can. These numbers matter.

There are still exciting things in the work, but the hope I had 10 years ago fades a little which each delay, each promised year that shifts to the next, and each disappointing "new exciting" release that is not only a bandaid, but a bandaid that is apparently less useful than my own hand.

But to move on from the tech and 'cure' aspect - there is a lot to celebrate on our end. Here's where I turn this frown upside down folks.

Our girl is basically a superhero.

This year (4th grade), Sierra has specifically requested more authority and hands on ability with her care. She's 9, by the way. She decided (and we supported) that this year she would prefer to not have to make so many trips to the nurses office every day just for snack and lunch insulin. She knows what to do, she has a phone where she can text me and check her blood sugar level (from the Dexcom) and I follow her on my apple watch. She's wearing my old pebble watch and it buzzes here when she hits 100 (so she knows to get some sugar to prevent a low), and also when she hits 180 so she knows she's starting to get high.

I'd say 95% of the time at school, she's monitoring and caring for herself with the nurses as backup watching over her to be sure she's indeed keeping on top of it (and me, with text and phone at the ready). She's doing great at school, she has given herself more control and time at lunch and recess to be with her friends. She's not shirking her duties and doing as we ask (MOST of the time, she *IS* a 9 year old after-all). We have deals in place should her care falter, and she's aware that could mean a weeks return to the daily nurse visits. She agrees it's fair.

She can change her own pump set now - start to finish. She understands her insulin thresholds a little more, can correct herself (though she still needs to talk to us first just to be sure).

It's pretty amazing. I couldn't be more proud.

She, at least at this point, accepts her lot in life sometimes with annoyance, but generally with grace and the shrug and smile of someone who just is who they are. And it's ok. It's not fun, it sucks, and sometimes it's a HUGE pain in the ass, but it's OK. It was our new normal then and it's our normal now.

I'd say the challenge is birthday parties and camps and play dates. We still struggle with how to handle these things. She tends to be distracted at play, and we can't rely on her keeping track of her lows or highs or really anything at all in those cases just yet. Sometimes she does, sometimes she doesn't, but usually if she's distracted we're on high alert as her backup. It's a challenge, to be sure, and it's just getting started.

We're very lucky that in our new neighborhood we have a lot of new kids and friends that either come play here or just a few doors down where I can reach out to her, or the parents, to alert her to whatever she needs.

Sleep overs aren't a thing yet, at least not anywhere else. That's ok, it's not high on my list at this point anyway. The only time it bothers her is with a friends birthday party, but honestly that won't happen for a long time anyhow, I don't always know the parents of school friends well and the task of caring for her overnight is no joke. She's a deep sleeper and doesn't even hear her loudest phone alarm setting for lows or highs. I can't and won't leave that in the hands of someone who isn't trained and someone I know super well. It's a lot to ask even of my own parents who take her overnight at least once a month despite the amount of work it takes (and often lacking in sleep).

We'll muddle through these things as she gets older, I'd love to send her to a diabetes camp but that's a post for another day. She wants to go, I just don't know how comfortable I am with their overnight care, either. It's a hard line between "go, be free, experience this life changing stuff" and "yikes, that's not at all how we do things and could in the long term be super dangerous" parenting. I don't know where that line is or how far I'm willing to cross it, yet. We have time. She's only 9.

Anyway, you can see why this isn't a Facebook update. :P That's where we are. If you made it this far, you're pretty rad. Thank you for your love and support <3